Tuesday, November 16, 2010

dating is like buying a car

If you're going to buy a car, think it out before you buy it.

You want to get the best one for you, right?

Sure you may have to make some comprimises.

Maybe it's not the color you want or maybe it's automatic instead of manual.

But if you save all your money and search all your options you're going to be a lot happier than if you just run out and buy the first car you see.

Don't get me wrong, you'd probably still be happy with any old car that works.

Think of how much happier you'd be waiting, saving and figuring out the one that fits all your needs and spending the money on the one you know you really want!

See, buying a car and dating are exactly the same.

Monday, November 15, 2010

# 16 {balloons for your trouble?}

I used to be on an Institute's Dance committee for my church. My job was, for every institute dance, to help set up/decorate and clean up for the dances. We would meet 4 hours prior the dance and stay 2 hours after.

Those were long, tiring, yet fun days..

The Valentine's Day dance was coming up... You know, the kind where you need to bring a date to get into the dance?... yeah, well I wasn't planning on going.

I hadn't been asked to the dance and was not about to ask anyone to go with me. But, being the good committee member I was, ventured to the Institute building to help set up for the date-dance.

I got to Orem and my job was to help fill balloons with helium. This other kid, I can't remember his name for the life of me...we'll call him John, was also assigned to help with this task.We started talking, you know, about things like the weather, school, favorite colors, etc. just to pass the time and to make for a not-so-awkward set up time together.

The time for the dance to start was approaching faster than anticipated and John asked if I was going to be attending. Of course without hesitation I told him no. And sure enough, he asked me if I wanted to go with him...I truly didn't see it coming and was a little caught off guard. He was a nice enough guy, though, and we had been talking for a couple hours at that point. So I thought to myself, hmm...what's the harm in going to a dance with some random guy I just met?

... I thought nothing...

The plan in my mind: meet him THERE, then if it's going horribly terrible, fake being tired, sick, have my sister/mom call me, etc..

Of course, nothing ever works the way I plan them.Long story short, he INSISTED he pick me up or it wouldn't be " a date ".. So I agreed that he could come pick me up ( I was living in an apartment at the time, but told him to come pick me up at my family's house to ensure no stalking at the apartment ).

He came to get me, we went to the dance, and, he kept trying to dance thisclose and it was super uncomfortable. He quickly turned from the decent guy into the creeper. with the dance coming to a close, I suggested we leave to get me home "on time". I was still a teenager, I could have a curfew!

As we were leaving, it was his genius idea to grab a helium balloon bouquet to take home with him, you know, because we worked so hard filling all those balloons.... whatever.

So we get to his 2-seater truck and he decides there's no room [duh-of course there's no room in the 2 seater for 2 people and 8 balloons!] for the balloons. So he tries to tie them to the bed of the truck. Well, that didn't work, and he insisted on taking the balloons, so they got stuffed in my face and all around me because he had to see to drive, naturally!

I couldn't see anything around me except balloons...Not the road, not him. Not even my hands in front of me. I couldn't tell if he was taking me home?! I was nervous and very bugged. I was so annoyed that I didn't say anything the whole way home. He didn't mind. He cranked his radio up, and didn't try to make conversation either. We pulled up to my house. I grabbed the balloons, and got out of the car while saying thanks for the ride. He drove off and I never heard from him [thank heavens] again.

Date Success: -3

Lesson Learned: Don't do pity dates. Seriously. They are nothing but enduring awkwardness which could have been avoided had I just been bold and up front. Marriage is all about communication, or so I hear. So if you can't communicate to someone while dating, it's a good indicator you shouldn't date. Because you date who you marry. True story.

ode to a creeper

Dear Boy I went on 1 Blind Date with,

When I accepted your invitation to go on a date with you, I did not say anything about being your girlfriend or even having any intenions of even liking you in that way. I went because those sort of dates always make funny stories, and well, ours makes a great story. You were very shy when you picked me up. You were kind of awkward, but I didn't think anything of it, since first dates seem to give me the jitters, so I figured you had f.d.j. as well. As the date went along, I could tell you were interested by the way you would oh so slyly touch my arm when I'd say something funny or witty. I caught on to those not so subtle hints right away.

I was onto you.

But I continued to have a good time and be myself. I wasn't going to let one date with a stranger get in my way of having fun.

When the date ended you innocently[i thought] asked for my phone number. I, having no real intentions to see you again, just gave you the number to avoid awkward questions. I just shouldn't have given you my number. I know better now. I knew something was off when you kept texting me after my one-word answers. Even after I would tell you in my friendly way about other dates I went on you insisted you explain yourself and apologize for silly things like not making eye contact on the date. I think you may have OCD.. But that's beside the point.

What really drew the line for me is when I invited you to dinner with me and my group of friends on a seperate occasion and you made no effort to talk to anyone. You just made awkward comments here and there, and afterward you texted me to ask me what you did wrong and what you could have done to make me feel better? We can still be distant friends I suppose. Maybe we would have been better friends had you been less creeper. Don't take this the wrong way, You're still a nice guy.

Good luck. Sincerely, Me.

Friday, October 8, 2010

#14 {No Touchy}

I have known Paul for a few years, we were good friends for a bit before he left to serve a 2 year LDS mission. When he got back, we ran into each other and talked for a few minutes before he asked for my number. Later that night he proceeded to ask me out. Via text.

I should have said no. I usually do say no when guys ask me out via text. Call me old fashioned but I believe the guy should have the guts and take the chance of being rejected over the phone rather than over text. Chances are she won't say no if you call her. Okay that's how I feel about texting... Back to the date.

He texted me to ask where I lived. Texted me to say he was at my house... I didn't respond, and waited inside for him to come to the door. The guy was losing points quickly.

He decided to take me miniature golfing. It was a lot of fun. I am terrible at golfing of any sort, and when I whacked my little orange golf ball into a bush, we got 2 other couples to join us until someone spotted it.. How embarrassing!

Anyhow, it would have been a really fun date except after every time I would sink the ball, he would touch my back, rub my arm, or give me a high five and tell me great job.

Okay. Please don't touch me. Goo.

We continued on the date and had a great time winning tickets from playing in the arcade. 10 tickets to be exact. Enough for a dum dum sucker. We went to get one, and Paul leaned on the counter and said "a dum dum for the lady?" It was everything in me to not burst out laughing at how awkward that was. The gal behind the counter gave me this look that seemed to say good luck. My thoughts exactly, arcade lady.

It was getting late and the date was coming to a close. He was driving me home and decided it was his right to put his hand on my knee. I scooted over as far as I could to avoid any future touchy-encounters.

It just creeped me out!

We ended the date with a side hug. That usually means I'm not interested. So does ignoring all future texts. Which is what I did. He's still a nice guy, just really touchy. I don't do touchy. It creeps me out.

date success: 5.6... it would have been a 6.3 had he not touched my leg!

Lesson Learned: Just say no if he asks you out over text. That should have been my first red flag.

I never considered myself an expert...

Until this morning when I looked up the definition of experienced in the dictionary. Endured, undergone and suffered through were some of the definitions that came up.

I am most definitely an experienced dater.

Don’t get me wrong, it truly has not been all bad. Most of these first dates have been nothing but wonderful. It’s been a long journey and I have learned a lot on the way. I have learned a lot about myself and about the type of person I want to-and don’t want to-spend the rest of eternity with.

I've been on so many dates. Boys ranging from tall, short, fat, skinny, muscley, two-faced, feminine, sporty, shy, outgoing, out of control, hilarious, dull, creepy, happy, blue eyed, bearded, curly haired.. I have dated them all.

So why haven't I settled down yet?

That's a mystery to us all. Seemingly I haven't done anything wrong. I may be a little biased.

Perhaps I'm too picky
or maybe too ambitious? I hear that scares boys away.

Either way, why should that matter at all?

I say be who you are and stick to it. No way you should lower your standards for anyone. Especially a dumb bunny boy. Follow your dreams, and finding Mr. Right will just fall into place.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Monday, September 13, 2010

my two cents for the day

dates are just another venue for getting to know people.

many have asked me why go on blind dates? aren't they just a waste of time?

but think about it.. how many happily married couples do you know who met on a blind date. I thought about it, and the number is quite a few.

which leads me to this conclusion: There is a quite a few chance that I could possibly meet fh on a blind date. And even though meeting my future husband will most likely not happen on a blind date, I enjoy meeting new people. I am fascinated with their stories. I love to hear about life goals and I am inspired to become better through all these amazing people I have met.

I think because the word "date" is included people get freaked out.

just chillax. A date is simply another venue {a more formal, planned, payed-for and personal venue} for meeting/getting to know people.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

#13 {Creativity at its finest}

Spencer and I had known each other for about 3 months when I decided I wanted him to ask me on a date. So, being my sometimes awkwardly brave self I told him he should do just that. A few weeks passed, and he finally did. I was super excited.

His good friend Eddy asked my younger sister on the same date.

Eddy and Spencer would not tell us where we were going or what we were doing before hand, they simply told us to be ready at 6pm sharp.

Sis and I were both ready. The doorbell rang, we both opened the door to only find Eddy standing at the doorstep. He was there to pick up sister. I stood there awkwardly, closed the door and had about 15 seconds to be completely confused before there was a knock at the door. Spencer and Eddy decided they were going to drive in the same car, yet pick us up seperately.. Interesting....

Well, we were off to a great start, all of us being friends, and laughing and talking and having fun. They still hadn't told us where we were going, but there were pizza boxes in the back seat with Spencer and I.. So dinner was a dead give-away.

We then pull up to a warehouse

I know what you're thinking... Warehouse? For real?

I thought it too.

We get out of the car, pizza in tow, and go inside the warehouse... Which turned out to be a karate studio.

Mmm hmmm.

It actually turned out to be insane fun. We started by eating our pizza dinner on the mats (so sanitary) and then played games like tug-o-war, how many cartwheels can you do, ninja destruction, and we also had a dance party.

This is a date I will never forget. It was creative and incredibly fun! I loved it. Eddy, Spencer, Sister and I are still very good friends and though it never went anywhere "romantically" (which I'm glad it didn't) we had a fun time and got to know each other better and we had a ball! Just how a first date should be!

Props to you S & E!

Date Success: Fabulous on a friend level

Lesson Learned: It is OKAY to have just fun dates with no pressure! That is the point of dating, is to see pbf's (potential boyfriends) differently than if you would just hanging out or talking at school. This date idea is highly recommended!